How does any one survive having a two-year-old? I need some survival tips - or really Cole needs some survival tips so he will see his third birthday. Cole is either the most darling, sweet little guy or an absolute terror. He has started saying to me, "You knock it off", which I know he has heard me saw more than once, but it sounds three times more obnoxious coming out of his mouth. He already has developed selective listening - something I thought males didn't get until after they were married (or get as teenagers according to my mom). There are days that I am certain that there will be no more children born into this family because I don't know how many two-year-olds I can handle. When you keep having kids it assures you that there will always be a two-year-old in the house. I don't think my sanity (or insanity) can handle it!!
Now, I am not saying that I don't adore Cole and love him more than I can express, but I just need advice on how to turn his tantrums, attitude and naughtiness into the darling Cole that I know is in there somewhere. Timeout, spankings (yes, I admit I do it sometimes) and explanations don't seem to be working. I give choices (Love & Logic) and that seems to help at times, but not always. I keep hearing that it is all part of being two, but I've never had a two-year-old before, so I don't know if his behavior of normal or not. I also think part of the problem is that he is so smart (he started sounding out words and can read simple words) - I think he outsmarts me most of the time.
I think the most frustrating thing is that I feel like I am a horrible mom on days when Cole is so difficult. I feel like I have ruined him and wonder if he will turn out in spite of my weaknesses. When I do spank him I feel like a horrible, out of control mother and want to just lock myself in my room. I get flustered so quickly, especially when it is one thing after another and then I am short with him, which only compounds the problem. Why can't I be a calm, collected mom that never seems to have her feathers ruffled?
So, I would welcome any survival tips that you have and any words of encouragement so I know that it will get better (please, tell me it will get better!). Cole will thank you!!
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Survival Tips...
Posted by Katrina at 5:39 PM
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16 comments:
AMEN!!! I had to smile through this whole post because Joshua has done, and still does, every one of those things. I have decided that helping two year olds (or three year olds, for that matter) learn to behave is a very long process. Just when he gets better at something, he comes up with another surprise! And maybe it is never fully accomplished - I know I don't always behave in the way I should! I know one thing that helps Joshua and myself calm down sometimes is to just put him in his room, close the door, and let him scream it out. Then I get some space, too, to think about how I can best handle the situation. Not that it always works, but sometimes it does.
Anyway, hang in there! I'm sure you are doing better than you give yourself credit for! I'm always in awe of how good of a mother you are!
Not that it is surprising that you are a good mom :) - I just meant that I look up to you!
I can totally relate to this post Katrina! Logan will be lucky to make it to his third birthday too! I'll have to post this one video of him in all his glory on my blog. It will make you feel better. He loves to say no and yell when he's mad or doesn't get his way. I'm sure you are doing a great job even though it may be frustrating at times!
Katrina...all I can say is you are one of the most incredible mothers I have ever seen with her children. I know having toddlers is the most frustrating thing in the world, but you do so many wonderful things for your boys. I wish that you could only see what a great mother you are. You don't ever give yourself the credit you deserve. Who can do all that you do with such a busy husband? Just keep it up! Your boys are so so lucky to have you.
Sorry to break the news to you...three is so much worse. (at least for my boys) I'm sorry you are having a hard time. You are a wonderful mother- don't ever doubt that. If you were a bad mother, you wouldn't care how he acted and would let him run around like a crazy man all day. One day at a time... that's all we can do. My mom always tells me "its a phase, it will pass" and she is right. Also remember that he is your oldest. Steve and I were so so so strict with Andrew. The poor kid was practically tortured! The oldest kids are such guinea pigs. Colby has totally different parents than Andrew- lucky Colby. I know you will get through this. If you can survive Meadowbrook RS president... you can so anything! Miss you! by the way, Cole can read? What???? I am feeling so inferior as a parents right now. Colby can spin in circles! Wahoo!
First of all, you are an INCREDIBLE mom. Second of all, I am battling the SAME problems - right before Kaden turned 3 it was like someone flipped a switch. I don't know what the answer is, I wish I knew and could help. GOOD LUCK! Just remember that you are a GREAT mom!!
HAHA..apparently we are all going through the same thing. But 3 has been SOO Much worse for me than 2 was with Anthony. It is a battle almost every day. Jake has taught me a lot about patience with Anthony. Jake will make sure he is on his level, talk way quite so Anthony can barely hear him and has to stop his whining, screaming or crying and Jake will tell him what is wrong with what he is doing and how he can fix it. It has worked great for Anthony. I'm not so calm all the time, but have noticed i'm worse when i'm stressed out too. I take on too much lately and have noticed the affects on Anthony. One-on-one time has helped him as well, so has preschool! Cole is smart...he needs ways to express himself and that is the way a 2 year old/3 year old does it best! Tantrums for his mother to enjoy ;). Just remember he loves you even when you spank him!!
You are a fabulous mother! I know it's tough to feel that way, especially when you're struggling and feel bad about it. But, you are. The good news is, he's not marred for life, not even close. The bad news is, this is just the start my dear:) I did love 3-6 though. I thought it was great. Although, K never had the terrible twos either, but then he couldn't talk, so that had it's own challenges. All I know is that I would take back a two year old any day over the tween that has taken over my house. I feel like a bad Mom every single day! You are with your boys every day and do such a great job taking care of them, teaching them, and doing so many fun things with them. Never doubt you're doing what's important, the way that it is supposed to be done. You're loved and definitely not alone. You're completely normal, and so are your boys...all of them:)
Someone once told me to hang on until five. That is what I am doing, whether he was right or wrong, I hanging on for five. I don't think I would make it without that. Also, in one of my books it says that kids go through cycles of being in equilibrium, and back out. They are usually in around the year marks and out around the half marks. When they are out is when there are huge tantrums and other problems, and while those still go on when they are in, they are lessened and the child is happier and easier. I have noticed it with Nate. His are a little off from the normal time wise, but otherwise there does seem to be a pattern. If I can make it, you can. You are much more awesome than myself.
Bless you! I feel the exact same way about my Grant boy. In reading through the other comments you have received, this is just how 2year olds behave. Take comfort in knowing you are not alone and Cole is very "normal." My only advice is for you to be consistant in your reactions to his behavior. He's smart and will figure it out when you do or do not like something he does. But believe me, there will still be days he does the things that upset you simply to get a reaction (gotta love it, don't ya!) Hang in there!
I am so glad to know I am not the only one that feels like this also. Kinley is right in the same boat. There are days that I am amazed we made it through the day. I want to know why the cute little baby stage is so fast and the terrible 2's is never ending. Lately I just have to tell myself the one positive is I am truley learning what patience is having a 2 yr old in the house. I agree with everyone else you are the most amazing mom!!! I wish after t3 kids I had a solution. Good luck. Let me know if you figure something great out.
Oh, I feel for you! But the sad truth is age 3 is worse than 2 :( Carson will be 5 in December and he's just started snapping out of it this last month. He's actually been very pleasant to be around! Just be aware that Garrett will have the terrible two's also except it will be completely different, at least that's how it is with Bridger! GOOD LUCK!
Katrina you are a wonderful mother!!!! I'm sure that to Heavenly Father we are all two year olds:) I'm holding out that it will get easier too:)
All I can say is two is easy compared to three!!! Two they start being a little naughty but three they push EVERYTHING to the limits. Just know that around 4 they start to grow out of it...until 9.
I remember seeing a young mother in Walmart when I was 19 with her 3 year old and he was totally out of control and she must have seen the look on my face. She said, "I bet you don't have any children do you?!?!!?" and my reply, "No, but if I did, they would NEVER act like that!"........... I am eating my words.
You are doing a great job and I wish I could say that it will go away but I don't know if it will. I am still going though it right now. I just had an experience this week with syd hitting me all the way from her preschool to our car in front of all the other mothers. I got in the car and started balling. I know she didn't want to hit me but she was just incredibly tired and wanted to stay at school. Always, always, remember that just as it is hard for adults to handle their emotions...we (adults) have had many years to get the practice and our little ones are just starting. I also know how you feel when it comes to kids saying what you say...no fun! But what I do know, katrina is that you are a wonderful mother and just like me and every mother out there...we get FRUSTRATED just like our kids do. It is something we all have to control and it is something we all have to realize that it is okay to get frustrated but we also need to keep trying to be patient...never ending cycle. One thing I have learned is that I can do a choice chart with Sydney and it will work great for one month but a month later it won't and so I am constantly making new charts in order to fit the scenario or her new personality that has emerged. Good luck and stay strong...you are doing great!
p.s. I am glad to hear that you feel the same way that I think most Mother's do. I think all the time about how I am not living up to the kind of Mother I really want to be. You are a great Mom. Give yourselt a break...being a great Mom is not about being perfect. I think I know you well enough to know that your children are #1 and that shows that you are the perfect Mother for them.
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